Asking Why

I have bursts of inspiration; I can feel fit and healthy and on the right track one day and then the next day, I can feel 30lbs heavier and completely out of control! I have been getting this a lot recently. I need structure to function!
We are coming up to the end of term and I definitely need a change of scenery. Once you get out of a certain routine, a way of eating, or just let something slip, I find that it all can go to pieces, and a big change is needed to get back on track. My diet for the past couple of weeks has been very hit and miss. I have had perfect Paleo days, and then I have found myself gorging on Maoam's and chugging Diet Coke. Why do I do this? It isn't even that I like the taste of these things all that much. In fact, I have now found that fizzy drinks completely mess up my insides. This may get a bit personal but after drinking a can of diet coke, I have to run to the toilet. Anything with aspartame or stevia or any other brand of artificial sweetener is not welcomed in my body!
I have been trying to answer the question of 'Why?' these past few days. Reasons I have come up with:

• Stress- I am very close to finishing my degree so I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Dissertation, revision, exams, money, jobs, careers, visas, moving house....
• Convenience- the crappiest excuse. I hate hate hate doing something because it is the most convenient. It becomes even worse when I hear myself justifying the chocolate because I am conveniently feeling stress. This is NOT good.
• Boredom- I love Paleo food. Love it. But there are times when I can't even look at a spinach leaf without wanting to barf. For some reason, I just get massive aversion to a certain food group! This leads me to feel annoyed with my situation, or angry that a friend can gorge on pizza and I can't. It is funny though that when I do feel this, I never act upon it when it comes to my meals. I haven't eaten any bread, pasta, or any other grain/legume/bean food concoction. No, when this happens, I snack and snack and snack on 'Paleo-ish' foods. For example, today my lunch consisted of 50g of Vegetable Crisps, a handful of blueberries, and no less than 10(!) chocolate dipped dates!! Why did I need 10? 2 would have been plenty. None of these foods, except the fruit, are really paleo. They are the more paleo options than say regular crisps, or an actual chocolate bar, yes, but it is definitely cheating.

Last night I made a Paleo dinner for me and my best friend. She has had to listen to me rattle on about Paleo this, Whole30 that for a couple of years now. I have tried to convert her; numerous articles infiltrate our facebook messages, Whole30 books end up on her desk. She appreciates where I am coming from, but she says she loves grains too much! Doing this dinner wasn't an attempt to have her cross over to the meat-and-veg lovers side; she loves all food, it was more a way for me to share what I eat with friends.
I made Juli's, from PaleOMG, pork tacos, and Michelle's, from Nom Nom Paleo, Chocolate pots de creme. YUMMY.
They went down a treat! Definitely will be making those again!
Finding new recipes does get you a bit more focused and renews your faith in the lifestyle. Hopefully when I go home for 5 weeks on Saturday, I will be more focused and more positive.
Lifting heavy weights also helps...I'll try and write a bit about my workout ways soon.