Body vs Me?

I feel as if my body is fighting me. Like literally wrestling me, pinning me to the ground, and the umpire always gets to 10.
There seems to be none of this two steps forward, one step back BS. I feel like I am taking zero steps forward, and then every so often my body sucker punches me back ten steps. Ok, that might be an over-exaggeration but I am sure the frustration level would still be the same if it was that drastic.

I am frustrated.

There. I said it. Sometimes you can't be up-beat and positive, and today is one of those days when my cup is empty. I have been battling with my knees for a couple of years now and that makes exercise a pain in the bum. There are days when it hurts to walk, and then there are days that they feel fine. I can jump around in a combat class one evening, and wake up fine; other days I can have done a bit of walking around campus and be woken up by the pain. WTF man?! I have had X-ray's and MRI's done in the past week and nothing came up on them which, on one hand is great as it means there is no structural damage, but on the other, it is so unbelievably frustrating. I like to have a problem to solve but this isn't one of them. I did physical therapy for 4 months while I was in America last year, and that barely did anything. Now, I am heading back to the physio again. I am hoping and crossing both my fingers and toes that maybe this time something will come of it.

When you have PCOS and know that the one thing you can do about it, the one thing you can gain some semblance of control over, is diet and exercise. I love to work-out, get sweaty, lift weights, the whole enchilada, so when my body prevents me from doing this, it feels like a failure. Yet again, my body is fighting me on two fronts; joints and organs. Cue me feeling frustrated and reaching for the nearest Bounty or packet of maltesers. I'm aware these aren't Paleo...

While I was at the gym today, I could feel the tears starting. Yep, I have been that idiot who cries while working-out before, and today I almost did it again. For the past couple of days my shoulder has been giving me some discomfort and it has been preventing me doing my already-adapted-to-suit-my-old-lady-knees-though-I-am-only-21-routine. The eyes were welling up and all those other problems that are in your life right now join in on the fun; my body is determined to make me cry.

Then I paused. Maybe my body isn't fighting me. Maybe I am fighting my body. They are similar, but definitely not the same. I should be doing more listening, and less pushing. Why did I go to the gym when I knew my shoulder was hurting me? That is setting me up for a mental and physical failure. My body was telling me to rest and I ignored it because I had to burn those calories. Rest has always felt like a failure, and thoughts of failure lead to eating foods that I shouldn't be eating, which leads to failure on the weight side, which leads to failure at the gym...and so the cycle continues. Therefore my goal 

I think I need to spend some time listening. I have proved to be very good at overriding my body and that is why we are in this constant push and pull relationship. I have taken my body doing this as it telling me "This is as good as you are going to get. Ha." when actually it could be saying "You will be better. But this won't happen tomorrow."

Grrrreat Granola

This week has been a mix of successes and failures.
Failure- Ate far too much chocolate with a friend while hiding from all the loved up couples on Valentine's Day and watching various Nathan Fillion films. I love him.
Success- Got a really good plan set up for my dissertation. I now know what I am doing!
Failure- I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet this morning. Fished it out, washed it, about to put it in my mouth when I had a change of heart! I need a new toothbrush.
Success- Made a Ratatouille from my new Paleo Slow Cooker recipe book. Delicioso.
Failure- Got lost on campus, at midnight, trying to get to the bus stop. I have been at this University since 2009.
Success- Managed to up my weights quite significantly in the gym. In particular my triceps and chest press. Woohooo!

I'm finding it hard to stay on track with the eating side of things. I keep reaching for 10p sweets or Lindor chocolate eggs. Eugh Easter candy. I have decided to come up with a list of foods that are 'Worth It' and 'Not Worth It' to help me stay on plan and not feel guilty. For example, artificial crap like haribo sweets are definitely NOT worth it. I don't even really like them! They are just an instant sweetness to pop in your mouth aimlessly. A square or two of dark chocolate with some sea salt is worth it. I'll keep working on it and give you a peek at my list once i'm done.

Tried another new recipe today...Pumpkin Paleo Granola which I found on the fabulous PaleOMG website that I religiously follow. Juli is hilarious and so down to earth! Go check out her blog. You won't regret it. I wanted something a bit different for breakfast that wasn't focused on spinach and eggs in various ways. I am a bit dubious as to whether it will keep me satisfied as there is no protein in it but I shall give it a go. I can always have a side of boiled eggs or something!
Here is my finished product:

Crunchy, pumpkiny, thanksgivingy, lovely. Great with coconut milk too!

Whole30 Round-up

I have finally finished my first Whole30! So I want to take some time and go over the good bits and the not so good bits. Not going to lie, I had to think long and hard this morning about this post. Reflection if you will. But first a little recap of what I have and haven't been eating in the past 30 days.

GET IT AWAY:

• No added sugar of any  kind- including honey, agave, artificial sweetners like Splenda, aspartame
•  No Grains- including wheat, rye, oats, corn, rice, bulgar
• No Legumes- including all peas, peas, lentils, peanuts, and all soy products
• No Dairy- from any source, so no cheese, yogurt, cream, milk etc
• No White potatoes
• No Alcohol

GET IN MY BELLY:

•  Meat
• Seafood
• Eggs
• Lots of vegetables
• Occasional fruit
• Healthy fats- Ghee or clarified butter (i.e. the milk proteins been removed), coconut oil, avocado etc

Whenever I mentioned to anyone what I was doing the usual response was "Well, what do you eat then?!" And the answer is good, clean food. Many people are stuck in this idea of cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, pasta and potato based dishes for dinner. Paleo is the complete opposite of this, and in my opinion, is the right way to eat. One day I will do a science post about it.

So what was positive about my experience on the Whole30? Using the founders llooonnnggg list of consequences of it, I have compiled my own!

• No bloating
• Feeling stronger
• My knee problems that I have had for a year and half rapidly improved
• A more regular cycle (seriously, with PCOS my cycle is all over the place but this was 4 weeks to the day. NEVER happened before ever.)
• Sleep loads better
• Constant energy levels
• Healthier relationship with food. Not worrying about every calorie going into my body has done wonders for my psyche. I no longer feel a slave to the calorie.
• Fewer cravings for sweet things
• Much more knowledgeable about nutrition.
• I stuck to something 100% for 30 days. 30 flippin' days! I feel really proud of that. 

I can't believe how much better I have felt throughout the 30 days. Not feeling bloated, or guilty, or obsessed. It has been rather stress free on the food and health side. I feel like I have gotten more focused when working out too. I feel stronger and capable of lifting heavier weights. Me and a friend also have started going to a pilates class, something I swore was never for me! I like to sweat and be out of breath, not lie on a floor and breath deeply for an hour. I was wrong. This isn't what pilates is about.

Ok so those were the positives. Now onto the negatives. To be honest, for me there is one big one that definitely overshadowed the achievement I felt when I first woke up this morning. Weight loss. Or rather, the lack of weight loss. I was expecting and hoping for some shift on the scales. I knew that the Whole30 is designed for health and not necessarily weight loss but the majority of people do lose weight. I wanted to be one of them, but I wasn't. I will admit, there were tears. From the age of 12 I have always been dieting, always trying to lose weight, so the scale has been a massive part of my life! I always tell myself that the numbers don't mean anything; I know I am healthy and fit, but deep down the numbers do matter to me! I wanted to have lost around 4lbs. I am great at maintaining a weight between 147 and 150lbs. My goal for the end of the year is to be 140 and I hoped these 30 days would be a good jumping off point, so to have lost ermm nothing. Well. Darn.

I have had a few hours to ponder on this and really take a look back. Just because I haven't lost any weight doesn't mean that this has been a waste of time. If anything it has fueled me on and made me believe in Paleo as a lifestyle even more. High fat way of life? Yes please. The food is gorgeous. But there is the problem for me I think. I took the fat recommendation side of things a bit too liberally. I think I was consuming too much fat for weight loss. I was eating a diet between 1200 and 1500 calories a day, and during the Whole30 I have been eating WAY more than that. So to have stayed the same weight...well that's really interesting. Science works. Cut out the inflammatory and insulin spiking grains and sugars, cut out dairy that we humans are naturally intolerant to, up the fat, protein and vegetables, and you have a perfect lifestyle!

So what am I going to do now? Well, today me and my best friend are going to a Body Pump class then having a spa day; jacuzi, steam room, massage, reelllaaxxx, with a latte from Starbucks of course (that is the only thing I have been craving all 30 days.) Then we are going out for dinner. I won't go crazy though.
Tomorrow, I am going to carry on with the Whole30 principles but just cut back on the fat. I know the science, I know the baseline, now I need to adapt it to my needs. Too much fat? No problem, I can change that. Weight loss needs to be a slow and gradual process to be maintainable. I like this lifestyle; it isn't a diet. It works if you cater it to your needs. Right now my needs are to lose a few pounds. Once that has happened, I know that I can up the fat slightly, introduce the odd latte, and i'll be a mean, lean, fighting PCOS machine.

Time to take charge!

Welcome to Munching and Moving! Perhaps I should welcome myself too, this is new to me!
Why  have I started this? Well I am fed up of half heartily trying to get fitter and healthier. I say I do OK around 65-70% of the time but I want more for my life.
A brief foodie/medical history of me:

• I have PCOS. And it sucks. I find it extremely difficult to lose weight and being on medication for various symptoms is annoying. I'm into the self-medicating idea; controlling my body by what I put in it.  This leads onto:
• I have been trying to follow a Paleo lifestyle and diet for a while now and have had some success. I've lost some weight, feeling better within myself, and my symptoms of PCOS have decreased! Ladies, if you have PCOS, I recommend this lifestyle! Find more about it in the Munch tab.
• The heaviest I have been is 20lbs heavier than I am today. The lightest I have been (besides at birth duh) is 15lbs less than I am today. I am quite literally stuck in the middle. One GIANT plateau! I think everyone who has tried losing weight can sympathise with this stage! I want this to change. No, I need it to change, before I grab the nearest chocolate cake and face plant into it.
• Exercise wise, I have some knee problems right now but that doesn't stop me from lifting weights and sweating like a beast (some of the time!) But now it is time to move baby move. 

So from now, I want to grab hold of the Paleo bull by it's big, meaty horns, and really go for it! No excuses, no justifications, just health and fitness. I follow so many Paleo blogs, in particular Nom Nom Paleo and the fabulous The Clothes Make the Girl, and now I want to jump on this bandwagon. The number of recipes that I have bookmarked from these websites is ridiculous so now I actually am going to try them!  My aim is to document what I eat/munch and how I exercise/move so overtime I can change and perfect my habits and say proudly that yes, I have PCOS but I'M controlling it, and that I am one pure Paleo-ist!